I AM MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER

WHAT THE DAUGHTER DOES, THE MOTHER DID - - (A JEWISH PROVERB)

How many times have you wished you were like your mum (Perfect and Beautiful) but then, when she does something to you that you dislike, you wish and say to yourself, "I will never be like her, or, I won’t be like her?

I was on the phone with a good friend of mine the other day, we were chatting about a lot of things, including his upcoming trips and wedding, but majorly why he hasn’t been keep in touch. 

“Work my dear, it takes too much of my time. I have been terribly busy”, he said.

Can you imagine that? i have been busy with work, is his excuse?
Guy, I really don’t get them when their only excuse is ‘work’. We know that already and stop making the rest of us look so unserious. 

Anyways, that was on a lighter note (hey, up me, i made a joke). 

But seriously, back to what i was saying, while scolding him on that (by the way which I enjoy doing with my guys friends – it is fun acting like their mother, most times they are kids… at heart, irrespective of their Spartan exterior), he said something very alarming and surprisingly as well.

Well for me it was, also my response shocked me even further (read on and you will see why).
I made a comment on something I really can't remember what but his response to it was that, “You sound so much like your mother right now”.

When he said that I was taken aback but really, the surprise was from what I found myself replying. I found myself saying, “Why not, I am my mother’s daughter”.

Well as a girl who partially grew up in what felt like a single parent but actually having both parents (long story…and by the way it is complicated!!!) most of my young life, my mother was my inspiration and anchor (duh! don’t we all say that!). 

As I grew from a child to a teenager/young lady, I didn’t think that anymore. I felt she was mean, not supportive and not smart enough to help me, or better still, befriend me (Do not look at me as if you don’t know what I am talking about or this thought has never crossed your mind).

Both of us are always at each other’s throat…the truth then was, it was either I kill her or she kills me, well, literally, it was simple as that. And you know mothers (a good one, is what I am referring to), they never give up on you.
But as I grew a little older, in maturity I mean, I began to understand and see that despite the fact that my mother isn't perfect, she still loves me with her life. 

Her imperfection may be a thing of confusion to me, but the truth is that her imperfection is what makes her human - loving, caring and giving. So I took a good look at myself, reassess myself and discovered that I am not perfect also. 

So whatever, she is all I have got and ever get and I love her because in her imperfection, there is a resounding and resilience perfection.

And as that Jewish proverb said, i can bet my life on it that she also had the same feelings or reservations about my grandmother as I have of her, yet the amazing thing about all this is that, with every generation, the imperfections get better. 

One way or the other, i feel deep within that It is up to us as daughters to upgrade because we have the imperfection of our mothers (No matter who or what you have achieved as a mother or how much your daughters loves or hates you), it is our obligation to upgrade the imperfection a notch.

I am not saying you should change who you are, well the fact is you can’t, no matter how much you try anyway, but what I am trying to say is this, firstly we need to understand and accept we are our mothers' daughter (love it or hate it, it is the way it is) but if there is something about yourself you know you got from your mother, don’t like, upgrade it.

Okay let me explain it this way to you, let say your grandmother is a version 6.0, then your mother will be a version 6.1, you then work on being an upgrade version of 6.1 which is 6.2 - that is what makes it beautiful. 

To all daughters, I would like to hear your opinion on this subject. Your thoughts, your comments, your stories or advice will go a long way. So why not leave a comment or two.

 

Yes, I am my mother’s daughter, I didn’t get to choose it but by God, I would make the best out of it. My mother may not be all that but she is everything to me and together we will walk out our imperfections - for I know who I am.

So I will be real and true to who I am…

MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER!!!

A LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD

Hey little angel,

Here is your mummy, she loves you so, so much and therefore decides to write these letters to you because you mean the world to her and you are her world.

My prayer is that you won’t be more confused than you already are because child you definitely will, every day of your life.
You will always want to have a sense of belonging and a sense of acceptance in this crazy world that is so hypocritical.

However, before mummy goes on, let me first say I am proud and honoured to be your mother and no matter what the outcome of your life, I will forever be proud of you as my child. You are my angel and the best thing that ever happened to me.
If I am not reading this to you, it simply means I am no more with you to hold you, care for you, tuck you in and kiss goodnight, take you to your first school, be there when you come home, cried that you are going off to college, comfort you when you get your first heart break, help you with your homework, and so many firsts……but my love, my little angel, I will always be with you because my blood flows in your veins and not just that I am in heaven watching over you.

My love, my unborn child, there are many things I want to tell you, so many things you will face as you grow but irrespective of all this, you will overcome them by LOVING AND STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF.
Never feel a need to be liked by all but always feel a need to be like by yourself and you will see others liking you.

PRE-HIGH SCHOOL could be fun and great but also it can be painful, like falling from your bike or a tree or pavement or even worse, losing your favourite toy. But don’t let it change you, be true to what you believe deep inside. Stand for what you believe in, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and you will see with time they will come to accept you for who you are. Pre-school has a way of molding you but it is the best part of your school years because it is the year you will be able to get away with everything cause you are still cute and adorably looking. But most importantly because you are still open in heart and mind, for you then, there should always be a reason why you can’t do anything. Meaning with you, everything is possible until you are marred.

HIGH SCHOOL years are the years in your life that if you do not know who you are and what you stand for, you will be toss to and fro with difference doctrines out there. Remember, you would meet others with different thoughts and behaviours.
School life is not the end of the world; believe me when I say that it is just a beginning of great things. Never ever judge yourself based on how or what you are, in school because life won’t judge you on that. School is where you build your true self. It is like seeing yourself in a bad mirror and thinking that, that’s your real self. So you need to stay strong because the real deal is AFTER SCHOOL.

That is when you will understand that those who portray themselves as strong or cool are not as strong or cool as they look and AFTER SCHOOL will have sieved the chaff out, so don’t sweat it.

With RELATIONSHIPS, your mum is the bomb when it come it this…or not (joking my love, my sunshine). Mum messed this up several times but irrespective of it all, she got you. Really, when it comes to this don’t let anyone tell you how to go about this, even me, your mum because no one has the answer to this one. You have to experience it to love it and want it.

On this, one hug doesn't fit all but instead one hug is for one. Uniqueness is the key to all relationships and when you try once and it doesn't work, try and try again, till you get the special one for you...remember FOR YOU, not for anyone but for you. Well child, the truth is that, for it to be true LOVE it is going to hurt, REALLY HURT. If it doesn't, how would you learn to appreciate and fight for it? However it goes; never ever give up on it and most importantly on yourself. It may tarry but believe me baby, it will surely come. Life will suck when you are looking for true love but once found; you would forget all the pain it caused you to find it, it just like the pain of having a baby. But before I move on from this, true love is not Cinderella or Princess Jasmine love story. Trying not to say that those kind of love doesn't happen because it does happen but don’t base yours on that. What I'm trying to say is that, don’t box your love, give it wings to fly.

FAMILY should be very important to you because they will always stick with you no matter what. When world turns it’s back on you, don’t turn your back on the world because you still have your family who are part of the world. Your family should always supersede every other thing. They help you root your life and besides they are the one thing you can’t change or choose.

Your father is an amazing person and he loves me and you dearly, when everyone stopped believing in me, he stood strongly behind me. He is my anchor, my shield, my lover and he is my friend. He is the reason why I am proud to call you my very own. He loved me like no man could. Messing up and giving up on my life, he found me and restored me to my glory. I love him like I have ever loved any other.

I remember the first time I felt love for your father, crazy it may seem, we were not even dating then just friends…
The night at a bar, just having a drink and he was so sweet and funny, I love to hear him talk which was weird because I get bored easily with guys who tend to talk alot. Playfully that very night he kissed my forehead and I don’t remember any man ever doing that to me before and it felt good and I mean really good.

Duh! You may say but for me it wasn’t. There and then, he possessed my heart and mind. Without even realizing I was in love with him, I spent every free hours without him. I wasn’t looking for love but love looked for me.
It is best thing that ever happen to me was meeting and loving him because it made me very happy indeed.
So I tell you, if it seems that love is not close to you, please my little one, don’t give up on you and your God.

GOD – some people say that he doesn’t exist, some say he does but what does he care, some even say that he is partial; some even say there is a higher power up there who is just having fun with humanity.
My little angel, I wouldn’t tell you if he does or doesn’t exit. Why not, you may ask? Well, because you need to search for him to know if he exists or not. He is better found by one self for you to appreciate if he does or doesn’t. Forget what you have been taught in school, church, mosque, on TV etc. search for him yourself and you will find more than you bargained for.

So my baby, I will stop here but not for long, because you will get the next letter soon.
Mum loves you from here to the end of the earth and back and there again and back again, until to the end of the earth.

Yours Sincerely
Forever and ever Mummy