Hey little angel,
Here is your mummy, she loves you so, so much and therefore decides to write these letters to you because you mean the world to her and you are her world.
My prayer is that you won’t be more confused than you already are because child you definitely will, every day of your life.
You will always want to have a sense of belonging and a sense of acceptance in this crazy world that is so hypocritical.
However, before mummy goes on, let me first say I am proud and honoured to be your mother and no matter what the outcome of your life, I will forever be proud of you as my child. You are my angel and the best thing that ever happened to me.
If I am not reading this to you, it simply means I am no more with you to hold you, care for you, tuck you in and kiss goodnight, take you to your first school, be there when you come home, cried that you are going off to college, comfort you when you get your first heart break, help you with your homework, and so many firsts……but my love, my little angel, I will always be with you because my blood flows in your veins and not just that I am in heaven watching over you.
My love, my unborn child, there are many things I want to tell you, so many things you will face as you grow but irrespective of all this, you will overcome them by LOVING AND STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF.
Never feel a need to be liked by all but always feel a need to be like by yourself and you will see others liking you.
PRE-HIGH SCHOOL could be fun and great but also it can be painful, like falling from your bike or a tree or pavement or even worse, losing your favourite toy. But don’t let it change you, be true to what you believe deep inside. Stand for what you believe in, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and you will see with time they will come to accept you for who you are. Pre-school has a way of molding you but it is the best part of your school years because it is the year you will be able to get away with everything cause you are still cute and adorably looking. But most importantly because you are still open in heart and mind, for you then, there should always be a reason why you can’t do anything. Meaning with you, everything is possible until you are marred.
HIGH SCHOOL years are the years in your life that if you do not know who you are and what you stand for, you will be toss to and fro with difference doctrines out there. Remember, you would meet others with different thoughts and behaviours.
School life is not the end of the world; believe me when I say that it is just a beginning of great things. Never ever judge yourself based on how or what you are, in school because life won’t judge you on that. School is where you build your true self. It is like seeing yourself in a bad mirror and thinking that, that’s your real self. So you need to stay strong because the real deal is AFTER SCHOOL.
That is when you will understand that those who portray themselves as strong or cool are not as strong or cool as they look and AFTER SCHOOL will have sieved the chaff out, so don’t sweat it.
With RELATIONSHIPS, your mum is the bomb when it come it this…or not (joking my love, my sunshine). Mum messed this up several times but irrespective of it all, she got you. Really, when it comes to this don’t let anyone tell you how to go about this, even me, your mum because no one has the answer to this one. You have to experience it to love it and want it.
On this, one hug doesn't fit all but instead one hug is for one. Uniqueness is the key to all relationships and when you try once and it doesn't work, try and try again, till you get the special one for you...remember FOR YOU, not for anyone but for you. Well child, the truth is that, for it to be true LOVE it is going to hurt, REALLY HURT. If it doesn't, how would you learn to appreciate and fight for it? However it goes; never ever give up on it and most importantly on yourself. It may tarry but believe me baby, it will surely come. Life will suck when you are looking for true love but once found; you would forget all the pain it caused you to find it, it just like the pain of having a baby. But before I move on from this, true love is not Cinderella or Princess Jasmine love story. Trying not to say that those kind of love doesn't happen because it does happen but don’t base yours on that. What I'm trying to say is that, don’t box your love, give it wings to fly.
FAMILY should be very important to you because they will always stick with you no matter what. When world turns it’s back on you, don’t turn your back on the world because you still have your family who are part of the world. Your family should always supersede every other thing. They help you root your life and besides they are the one thing you can’t change or choose.
Your father is an amazing person and he loves me and you dearly, when everyone stopped believing in me, he stood strongly behind me. He is my anchor, my shield, my lover and he is my friend. He is the reason why I am proud to call you my very own. He loved me like no man could. Messing up and giving up on my life, he found me and restored me to my glory. I love him like I have ever loved any other.
I remember the first time I felt love for your father, crazy it may seem, we were not even dating then just friends…
The night at a bar, just having a drink and he was so sweet and funny, I love to hear him talk which was weird because I get bored easily with guys who tend to talk alot. Playfully that very night he kissed my forehead and I don’t remember any man ever doing that to me before and it felt good and I mean really good.
Duh! You may say but for me it wasn’t. There and then, he possessed my heart and mind. Without even realizing I was in love with him, I spent every free hours without him. I wasn’t looking for love but love looked for me.
It is best thing that ever happen to me was meeting and loving him because it made me very happy indeed.
So I tell you, if it seems that love is not close to you, please my little one, don’t give up on you and your God.
GOD – some people say that he doesn’t exist, some say he does but what does he care, some even say that he is partial; some even say there is a higher power up there who is just having fun with humanity.
My little angel, I wouldn’t tell you if he does or doesn’t exit. Why not, you may ask? Well, because you need to search for him to know if he exists or not. He is better found by one self for you to appreciate if he does or doesn’t. Forget what you have been taught in school, church, mosque, on TV etc. search for him yourself and you will find more than you bargained for.
So my baby, I will stop here but not for long, because you will get the next letter soon.
Mum loves you from here to the end of the earth and back and there again and back again, until to the end of the earth.
Yours Sincerely
Forever and ever Mummy
