FREE WILL

Hey friends, Today, as I was having my morning tea, thinking about things, a girl always think about when they are all by themselves ........that was when i thought about this topic…FREE WILL. Interesting topic this is…… Free will, everyone talks about it, there are movies made about it but the true question is, is there anything known as free will and if there is, what is it? Does anyone or everyone have a right to it? Or there is someone out there who dishes it out to us? Who control this so called free will and if that is the case, how can it be free if you don’t even get to choose what kind of will you want? My only sister use to laugh at me when I watch television. She says I watch TV like someone who is in the story. Well, not far from the truth, and that is because I watch TV to understand the reason behind the story. Like what was the writer thinking about when he wrote that movie or why the writer decides to do what he/she this way and not the other way. Why the movies aren’t like the other way or why choose to be this way. I guess, my logical self love to understand the why, what and when. I feel safe that way. It may sound crazy but hey, it is me. So hey this free will thing, is it actually free, and how come it doesn’t look that way. As I began my research into this intriguing word, I would like you to open your mind, let go of all prejudices and of everything you have ever heard about it and see, if we could actually discover something together on this journey. The dictionary on my laptop gave me the definition of free will as “The power of making free choices unconstrained by external agencies” or better still “Done of your own accord”. Let me also say that one is a noun and the other is an adjective. So loving English right now… So I go check the renowned Oxford Advanced Learner English Dictionary, “The power to make your own decision without being controlled by God or fate”. And I will define it as simple as ABC, “A will that is absolutely free” or something like that. So the truth is that nothing comes free…well, in life. Okay guys there you have it, so tell me you don’t question free will or maybe I don’t understand the concept? I do want to really know what you think on this because to be honest, I'm kind of confused here. This may sound very ridiculous but I have thought long and hard about it. And if I decide to write down everything I thought on this, I am so sure I'm going to bore you. But it will be nice to have your comments on this; maybe I can pick one or two things from you guys. Till I hear from you, keep it real and true, to who you really are. I'm yours always. Gentlehawk

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 2

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed my last blog….but if not, be nice and not say anything. But if you did enjoy my last blabbing then you might enjoy this love poem I found many years ago which I think perfectly summarizes what I’ve been trying to say in the last blog. Though it is may refer to marriage but let’s focus on the relationship part of all this. And if you are mushy as I am then you will love it as I did and mostly importantly, open your heart to understand thing more than I can explain. Well the truth is I don’t proof read my blog, just write it as I think it. Why, you ask? Because I hate perfect and in-the-box, and when I do proof read I change what should be and the fact is this blog is more than me, it’s you, it’s us and being real and true to ourselves.

CHOOSE TO LOVE I married a man I respect, I have no need to bow or defer, I married a man I adore and admire, I don’t need to be handed a list entitle, ‘How to build his ego’ or, ‘The male need for admiration’, Love, worship, loyalty, trust – there are inside me, They motivate my actions, To reduce them to rules destroys my motivation, I choose to serve him, to enjoy him, We choose to live together and grow together, To stretch our capacities for love together, Even when it hurts and look like a conflict, We choose to learn to know each other, As real people, as two unique individuals, Unlike any other two, Our marriage is a commitment to love, To belong to each other, To know and understand, To care, To share ourselves, our goals, our interests, Our desires, our needs, Out of that commitment the action follows.

Peace and out!!! Gentlehawk

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

    Do happily ever after do really happen, or is it a long far fetch dream of people who don’t want to come in tune with reality? 

In my opinion, and I repeat again, IN MY OPINION, I think happily ever after does happen but only to those who really work for it and are open to the endless possibilities it brings with it. Not to forget that, to be happy in every sense, is a choice one has to make. No matter how far or how long, happiness isn’t in tangible things but in intangible things.

The Cinderella tales or the Rapunzel story may be fables but in every stories or fables there is always an iota or element of truth. 

Some people don’t even believe in ‘happily ever after’ and this is like saying you don’t believe in dogs and again that is my opinion. Thinking of this makes me kind of realize that we determine our own happily ever after, even Snow White had to work out her ‘happily ever after’ with her seven dwarfs. 

So if you want to have any ‘happily ever after’ relationships (formal or informal) there’s got to be a WORKING. So how do you WORK at a relationship you don’t know even know if it will work or needs working? Hmmm, good point? 

 Well, the truth of the matter is that anything worth having needs WORK. When I was younger, I heard some say that "Even heavenly made marriage need a down to earth maintenance”. Don’t know how true that is but it makes sense.

 

Most of the time we just lay back and think we will figure things out along the way. Hell no, things don’t just happen…you have to make it happen. 

Playing my role in any relationship is one way to make it work. 

Getting information and education on how to make relationship is also a point breaker. 

You need to know and understand what makes any relationship work. When you have information on how relationship works, even when you feel like you have had enough of driving the car, you just keep on steering and not give up because you know that it is just but for a season. 

Never leave any relationship to chance, believe me if you do it will come back to bite you in the ass. Most times we have this misconception that the grass is greener on the other side when the truth of the matter is that the grass isn’t and it only looks green on the other side because the other side waters its grass. 

 So, if you want a happily ever after relationship don’t leave it to chance. Get information, play your part and work at it. If you want, get it. 

So be real and be true, to yourself 

Peace!!! Gentlehawk

LIFE! OH LIFE!!

You know every time i open my blog page, i lose my inspiration to write and i have come to realize that my inspiration, like my heart, has a mind of its own. It usually show up in the weirdest places, like when i am in the shower, or doing my business(don't pretend you don't know what i'm talking about), or cooking, or even at the peak of work day or like this story i'm about to tell you, while driving. 

 It is amazing how thoughts just keep streaming out of my head but i don't have the chance or time to put it down. 

However, just like one of TED speakers who once told that inspiration "thing" to behave and yelled back at it "Can't it see i am driving, come back when we are both not busy". 

It may sound hilarious but it kinda true. Anyways, this very day while driving to work, which i do a lot and not that i enjoy it. In this part of my world, transport systems sucks. So having a car is no luxury like most people think, in fact if i had a better option i would go for it.

Though sometimes it could be interesting, but many atimes it is pure madness, just like this very day that i was almost ran over by another road user. The guy was such in a hurry that it didn't matter who got hurt as long as he gets to where he was going. 

At first i felt angry at him, for putting me and others in danger because of his craziness, then after a moment or two, i felt nothing.......and then i felt pity for him. If only he know, understand and accepted the fact of Life, he won't be in such a hurry. 

 The driver or my co-road user, doesn't seem to understand that both of us aren't going to the same destination and that competing with me or anyone else on the road for that matter doesn't make sense.I have my destination and he has his. Even if he gets there (his destination) first it doesn't really matter because it is not my destination and i am not planning to go to his destination. And because I have my destination, i will get there at my own time. 

The fact that we are both using the same route doesn't imply that we are meant to be heading in the same destination. Been ahead of me doesn't necessarily mean that i would or can't overtake him too. Truth be told, many of us drive our lives just the same way. 

We are in a habit of living our lives based on someone else's. We all are created for a particular destination, our timing will therefore be different. Because you got to your destination before me doesn't mean I won't get to mine at my own time. 

Like my kid sister use to say, 'In life, there is always room for latecomers'.

So why not enjoy the now as we drive through our lives. And don't be in such hurry in getting to the destination that you miss out in the beauty, the warmth, the growth and peace that's all around us. Just like driving, people forget to take cognizance of the fact that we get to do this only once because scenery change, situation change no matter how many times we drive through that route it is never ever the same process. 

So why not enjoy your now on the way to where you are going. 

Be True and Real.

Real Gentlehawk

DREAM BUT TRUE

Well, i can't remember when exactly i wrote this poem but i think i was in my late teens and i was going through some really crazy emotions. I didn't feel enough and i was missing the only person that made me feel enough. You know how one person makes you feel on top of the world when he/she is around you, probably because you know they've got your back and everything, the world is so beautiful because you've got them in your life. But all of a sudden you lose them because life got to do what life got to do. Then you lose yourself and everything that comes with it. That's pretty much how i felt before i wrote this poem and then, i found the only one who won't let go even when i do. The one i simple feel safe with. he filled the void that i thought people and things could but low and behold, nothing compared to his loyalty and love. So, knowing me, i felt it was simply too good to be true. This 'thing' will leave me just as people have been and it won't last. Funnily, i thought i wasn't worth his time, loyalty and love. But, nope, he simply just held on to me and told me "the more you push me away, the more i will stick with you". What more can i say, somethings are meant to last forever. So enjoy the letter, i wrote to him, saying thank you.

Your love is more like a dream So real to me than the rainbow’s blue Your grace is an amazing touch So smoothen than the richest balm You’re my life and breath Living in me so real You’re my beauty and spring My charming prince that’s why I sing My lovely pearl which is my treasure Holding unto you, can’t let go Cause you are my everything When all my hopes are gone When my heart is left shattered When all my dreams fade away Your rays of love Shines and radiates into my heart Why ……. But why Do you love me so much? And I give you so little of mine But you never mind Sometimes I think you are a fool But now I know you’re true So true ……..And so is your love Sometimes I threw your love away Into a dirty filthy trash bin And go out searching for “true” love But you dust it and hand it Over to me with more truthful words How can I never …… never see The true and real love that you gave to me. (c)Nabel

PART OF MY LIFE

“Hey Sue, come on in. it’s nice to see you”, Dick said moving aside for his sister to step in. “How is the latest dad doing?” she replied giving him a friendly kiss. “Floating in the air I guess”, he laughed as he closed the door. Dick’s home depicts the nature of his job; just walking in one will immediately know that an architect lives there. Designed to suit the right purpose and necessity than luxury - it has a touch that words cannot describe instead it looks like a dream house. It is like something out of the imaginary, unreal yet so obtainable. The house is filled with natural plants, sculptures of various shapes and sizes and colorful furniture that gave the house a welcoming feel. Susan just love the fragrance that lingers in the air when you walk in, inhaling and smiling, she said “I feel I’m way back in the Arizona”. Smiling at her wondering why she always does that when she comes in. A question he always wanted to asked but didn’t have enough nerves to bring back memories. “So tell me, how was your day?” he asked and announce her arrival to Amy. “Fine except that I got one hell of a scare today?” “How do you mean?” Dick asked. “I thought I saw Tony…you know Tony Alexander”, she said looking lost. “Anyway, I came to see to me treasures and where are they”. “Which Tony…please don’t tell me, the same one from college. Where, how, when…what does he want?” he puzzled. Saved by Amy’s entrance, Susan pretended not to have heard his question, “Hey Amy”; she said standing up to greet her favourite and only sister-in-law. “Hi Susan, I thought you wouldn’t be coming until later today. How was your day”, Amy asked. “Well, thought so myself, but I guess I had enough time on my hands so why not stop by and spend it with my treasures”. Knowing his sister, he let her off for now but he wasn’t so sure his sister is alright. Looking at her closely he saw that she looks a little pale and she had this air around her that he remembers so well. The very one she carries when she shaken by something or someone – which isn’t often - and yet she dares to face it. Her lower lips twitches especially when she smiles, only those who know her well enough will know that behind those tough and confident looks something is so wrong. “So where are they?” Susan asked. “Your treasures, of course, here we are” Amy said playfully. “You both aren’t in that league anymore; but maybe I could change my mind if you behave”, she laughed. “Hmmm, how easy to be discarded immediately those little pinkies show up in the picture”, Dick answered as he pick up the remote and position for his favourite show. Shaking her head at her obviously jealous husband, giving him a big hug she whispered into his ears, “You are the only real treasure I will ever know and what to know”. “Oh guys, you are killing me. So do you mind?” Susan said rolling eyes. With that they all burst into laughter. A day with her brother and family is exactly what she did need to keep her sane. She noticed Dick’s silence glares but refused to acknowledge them. He’s the only one, well except her mother, who really knew and understood what happened between Tony and her. And right now she can’t stand to go through the pain and the torture she thought wouldn’t never go away but over years she has been able to work with them yet seeing him today brought those emotion all rushing back which makes her feel she has though she has been ran over by a big truck. Obviously, those emotions never actually disappear; she only succeeded in subduing them. It was a matter of time. “Are you alright, Susan?” Amy asked looking concern bringing her back. “I’m fine just a little distracted – you know how work could get”, she replied with a smile, rocking one of the twins. “I don’t think that’s all. You want to talk about it?” “Ehen nay, why waste a beautiful day talking about problems that don’t matter when there are other wonderful things to talk about”. “Such as?” asked Amy raised an eyebrow as she robs the back of her other twin expecting him to belch. “Numerous…for a start, how does it feel to be a mother?” “I can’t seem to express my feelings in words. It’s overwhelming, Susan. I feel all of a sudden I want to protect, love and live all at once cause I have a good reason to, you know”, she smiled. “I’m sorry was a little carried away”, she giggled looking more of a girl that a new mother with her chestnut hair pulled back into a ponytail. She really looked good, having babies thus suit her well. “You shouldn’t be. I’m just glad my brother found you and married you. And I would like to say that I’m even luckier to have you as a sister-in-law”. “The feeling is mutual, Susan”, Amy answered. “So are you going to tell me what’s bothering you or do I have to coax it out of you?” she asked Susan seriously. “You aren’t going to give up, are you?” “That will be a big NO, so spill the beans or else I’ll drill it out of you”. Placing the twin back in her cot, she walked over to the window and signed heavily. “That difficult, eh?” asked Amy. Closing her eyes she nodded slowly. “It’s a matter of the heart?” “I loved him once….loved him with all my heart, Amy….”. “…and he let you go”. “I really don’t know if that’s what really hurts anymore. He just left, he let go without any explanations or anything. But seeing him today… I just don’t know. I didn’t expect to react to him like I did”. “Is that what’s troubling you or there’s something else?” asked Amy knowing that she is having a tough time explaining the war going through her. Amy has always known Susan to put other peoples’ business before hers and not at all surprised she is in this dilemma. “I really don’t know and it frustrating, you know”, she said coming to sit with her on the bed deep. “Is it that or the fact that you love to be in charge of things?” Amy smiled. “Do you love him?” Nodding her head slowly and then she realized what Amy was asking she stood, shook her head vigorously and answered, “No, no…not anymore at least”. Giving her a lopsided smile, Amy simply walked up to her and replied “You alone can work this out, you know and the earlier you figure out what you want, the better. You can count on my support, whatever you decide to do”, Amy said finally patting her hand. “Thanks. So tell me, what you are planning to name these little angels”. “Henry and Henrietta, we both like the names, well not after so much deliberation”, she laughed. Repeating the names and letting it rolling on her tongue like someone testing the uniqueness of a new wine. “I like it too, I’m so glad to the opportunity to be an aunt again. I only wish…..” she trailed off. “You wish what, Susan. I wish you weren’t this stubborn”, Amy stated. “You also think I’m stubborn?” smiled Susan “As a mule, believe me. You can’t hide your feelings, Susan. It reflects in your eyes. I can see your heart in your eyes. That’s why Dick thinks you need to be protected all the time, you know. He’s so worried and wants you to be happy”. “I’m so very happy contrary to what all of you think. I have you, Dick, mum, Dora, Chico and good employees. So tell me, what else should I ask for?” she answered giving her a weak smile. “You ask for L-O-V-E, a man of your own that will love you like Dick is to me. I know you Susan, you are built for love. Your other name should have been LOVE. You have so much of it on the inside and you are suffocating because you need to give it away…..” she said honestly. “…Please stop it, stop it”, cried Susan sitting herself on the Grandma rocking chair not too far from her. “You are too strong, Susan, please for the love of God let someone take of you”, Amy pleaded. “I…I’m…I wish I could do it” she cried even more. “No one will ever hurt you again. Please just listen to your heart it will lead you home”, she said hugging her sister-in-law. “It’s just that I can’t believe my heart will still react to him this way. I thought it was over and now…” she replied. “We never understand the matter of the heart and that’s what makes it beautiful, do you think”, Amy said giving her a reassuring smile. Simply nodding her head, she wiped her tear-stained face and said, “You should be working as an FBI agent, you sure know how to drill for information”. “Believe me, I was very soft with you compare to how I drill your brother”, Amy answered seriously mimicking a military officer. “Oh dear, my poor brother”, laughed Susan. Holding Amy's fragile hands, Susan said "You know, I feel so grateful to God every time for giving you to this family. You are such a blessing to every one of us and I wish to let you know we won't take that for granted". "I know that and it's not only you guys. I'm extremely lucky to have you all in my life", she stated giving her a heartfelt hug.

Susan spent most of the day with her brother and his family. They gave her a new sense of security. The more days she spent with her brother’s babies, the more the longed for a child of her own.
As the days turn to weeks, Susan found herself spending more and more time with the babies. Almost all evenings, except if there was a meeting or a business she needs to close, she was always with Amy and the babies. Dick was sure that has much as his sister loves to spend time with the babies, he was so sure Susan was trying to avoid bumping into Tony again. Whatever happened the day she saw Tony, his sister was not prepared to do the same again. But he knows that if she wants to talk about it, she will and God help you, you had better listen. “What, why the smile, brother”, Susan asked playfully. “Nothing, just loving you”, Dick replied. “Oh Dick, I love you too, so much”, she cried, touching him gently on the cheek. “It will be okay, whatever it is, it will be okay”, he said truthfully as he cupped her hand. “Thanks, I do appreciate what you are doing”, she said quietly. “I’ve got to go. See you all tomorrow but I think Mum, Dora and Chico will be arriving without me. I have to finish up some documentation by tomorrow. Won’t be late, promise”, she said as she picked up her handbag. “You late, ha, I am yet to see that day. Just want you to take good care of yourself, ok?” “I will, promise. And kiss the three for me”. “Sure thing, bye”, Dick said as he walked her to the door and gave her a parting kiss.

AFRICA FASHION

Fashion has been with man as long as man can remember...it is an identity, culture, a way of life. Everywhere you look you will see fashion, in the way we wear our hair, the way we build our homes, in our looks, even to the way we cook our meals and eat those meals. Fashion is every thing, it defines who we are , from generation to generation.

Fashion a way of Life and African Fashion, a glamour to associate with. Beautiful, elagant, nourishing, refreshing, soulfull, warm, intricate yet balanced just like its people.
Have you ever wonder, where this idea of fashion came from? If is as old as man then Fashion is man just like language food culture etc.Who was the first designer? Who was the first model to show case the first designed clothes? Fashion in my own option is a necessity just like the air we breathe or the food we eat or the need to sleep.

African Fashion has evolved and still evolving just like its people. A Fashion with a statement, with purpose and reason. From the ancient Egypt to ancient South africa, all the way to Senegal and Mali, one thing hold so sure, hat African Fashion is so diverse and unique and it will take another life time to exhaust its diversity and unquieness.

So the world had better watch out because Africa and African Fashion is here to stay...it is the next big thing.
THE WORLD CAN'T WAIT anymore for this great GIANT to surprise the world with it richness.

Maybe there is a lesson here to be learnt, never ever, look down or underestimate nobody. There is an old adage that says, "Be careful of how you treat people as you climb up the laddar because you may need them on your way down", well, something like that, i think.

Anyways, i'm so glad to be part of this wonderful continent and most importantly, part of the era when the whole world looks to Africa for inspiration.

Be Real, Be True
Gentlehawk
Always with you

HAPPY 2012

Hey guys,

It is a New Year, a New Reason to live that dream, a new reason to be the best we can be, a new dawn and a new beginning.

But wait a moment, is it me or it is that the 2011 was one fast year...pregnant and giving birth to so many events, some wonderful but the most parts, catastrophic events, but fast nevertheless.

I am so sure alot of us looked forward to 2012 with a New Zeal, New Desire, New Anticipation.

However, for Nigerians that zeal was damped by their president's new year announcement - the removal of fuel subsidy without even consulting the people who made him the president in the first place.

Going on few days strike that was resultless, if there is any word like that, and returning to business as usual. Typical of Nigerians

The country is at a point of meltdown so alot of people say but the truth of the matter is that, what is keep that country from rising as a shinning star that it is, is exactly what is holding that country together and from not crashing or falling apart.
So hopefully, keeping our fingers crossed and looking above to the only one who interfers in the affairs of men, i can't wait how things turn out this beautiful year of 2012.

So my lovely darlings, kisses blown to y'all.
Wishing a fruitful and daring 2012.

Remember, do it your way and Live it right and True.

Your Gal....Gentlehawk!!!