A open letter to the one my heart beats for.

My dearest love and king,

The one who has captured my heart. The captain and lord of my world. My very own. The one who sees beyond my filth and baggages yet choses to love me and make me is very own. My music and song!

To the only one the rhythm of my soul plays an unending tune of love and passion!

The only star and moon in my sky, words fail to express the beauty and love we share. 

The love you give so freely knowing well how broken and battered I was. 

Just like the insignificant rock, a shadow of what I was made to be, you saw far behind my demur and saw a gem. Polish and refine me, lovely and delicately, you turned me into the rarest gem the world will ever see. 

And indeed you kept to your promise and still keeping the promise of those unforgettable words, "To me you belong, to me you were made! I will cultivate, nurture, honour and love you with every breathe I breath!". You love me like only you can, nurture my very existence, honour my body, spirit and soul, cultivate my land that it flourished! 

Oh my love, how can I not be decide to love you and adore you? Yes, decide...it is a decision i make and not one with my emotions. My emotions don't matter with you, because regardless of how I feel ( and you know, my emotions is like an alternating current...you can't blame a girl for being a girl) I will always love and serve you with my spirit, soul and my body.

I'm grateful to God that you were made specially for me and no other. Everything I went through and went through me, was but for me to know and worship you when you showed in my life. 

Your every glare, smile, touch and words leave me breathless. No one can love me the way you do and no one will ever will.

My own Prince, I adore you with every colour of my body and with the silence of every word of my soul. I am forever yours! 

What more can I ask for? 

THANKFUL HEART!

It was my birthday few weeks ago and I look at my life, I see how far I have come and how far I still have to go. Despite this, I'm grateful for where I am. From being a naive and timid girl, to a mature and confident woman. Still growing though! And for that, I have a lot of people to thank.

Firstly, I want to thank God Almighty for creating me, someone unique and special. For making my dad find my mum. And not just that, for making my dad forget what condom was the night I was conceived. 

For designing the blue print for my life journey. For sticking with me when others forsook me. For being my anchor, rock and shield. For teaching me what true love really is and help me believe in it. Thank you!

To my family, who stood by me all these years and still remain firm behind me despite my imperfection, they believe in me regardless. Nurtured me, fought with and for me and never ever giving up on me. You guys are my rock and my platform. Thank you! 

To the my true friends, who know that there isn't any thing known as perfection and that imperfection is a great and truthful way of life - life that is meaningful and purposeful! Thank you all for having my back. To those friends, who mocked my stupidity and toughness behind me and smile sweetly in front of me, thank you for helping know what the meaning of true friendship and to cherish it with all I've got. Thanks!

To all them teachers who said I won't amount to nothing because they felt I wasn't bright enough and to those teachers who still believed and saw greatness beyond this slow learner, therefore help propelled me for success and fought for me. To you all I say a big Thank you!

To all my good, the bad and the ugly lovers, who taught me what love is and is not...who helped me discover that "I am enough". Who, through pain, hurt and disappointment, I reached that point of self discovery, strength and appreciation. Who showed me that I am tougher than I look and that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I say a fantastic thank you!

To all my bosses, for believing in me enough to give me the responsibility to show my strengths and weaknesses. Thank you!

To everyone who I have come in connect with in this life journey and will come in connect in the future...thanking you for the impact you have and will have on me.

And to those I forgot to mention, thank you too!

Kisses and Hugs

Your Gal,

Gentlehawk!

DREAM BUT TRUE

Well, i can't remember when exactly i wrote this poem but i think i was in my late teens and i was going through some really crazy emotions. I didn't feel enough and i was missing the only person that made me feel enough. You know how one person makes you feel on top of the world when he/she is around you, probably because you know they've got your back and everything, the world is so beautiful because you've got them in your life. But all of a sudden you lose them because life got to do what life got to do. Then you lose yourself and everything that comes with it. That's pretty much how i felt before i wrote this poem and then, i found the only one who won't let go even when i do. The one i simple feel safe with. he filled the void that i thought people and things could but low and behold, nothing compared to his loyalty and love. So, knowing me, i felt it was simply too good to be true. This 'thing' will leave me just as people have been and it won't last. Funnily, i thought i wasn't worth his time, loyalty and love. But, nope, he simply just held on to me and told me "the more you push me away, the more i will stick with you". What more can i say, somethings are meant to last forever. So enjoy the letter, i wrote to him, saying thank you.

Your love is more like a dream So real to me than the rainbow’s blue Your grace is an amazing touch So smoothen than the richest balm You’re my life and breath Living in me so real You’re my beauty and spring My charming prince that’s why I sing My lovely pearl which is my treasure Holding unto you, can’t let go Cause you are my everything When all my hopes are gone When my heart is left shattered When all my dreams fade away Your rays of love Shines and radiates into my heart Why ……. But why Do you love me so much? And I give you so little of mine But you never mind Sometimes I think you are a fool But now I know you’re true So true ……..And so is your love Sometimes I threw your love away Into a dirty filthy trash bin And go out searching for “true” love But you dust it and hand it Over to me with more truthful words How can I never …… never see The true and real love that you gave to me. (c)Nabel