A gal's dairy 02

"A day will come and you will see me no more...." It's a quote and i think i'm begining to understand the indepth of that sentence. I do feel lost today. I feel my life is without direction and i feel empty.

Hey, before you begin to imagine how empty my life is, let me give you some tips into my life. I have alot going for me until recently and it seems to be slipping away. I'm a young beautiful woman with a good career that will put in the spotlight as soon as i'm ready. My social network is above average but social life is zero. My love life is so close to a nun's. I live a triangle type of life, that's to say, home,work, school. There's nothing and i mean absolutely nothing interesting going on in my life. I hate going out for shopping and clubbing like normal girls do. I would rather stay home to read a book, write(like i'm doing now) or watch a movie. What kind of girl does that? BINGO!!! a Boring one! I simply miss those good and simple old days when i had the right to feel free. Love irrespective of who and how. When i had true but few friends. When my parents were still much in love. When in the evenings, i will put in a good show for everyone in the living room and i have a good and honest laugh with those people who love me for me. Why do life have to be so so complicated. I guess it is part of growing up. When i was little i couldn't wait to grow up, have my freedom and enjoy life. i thought grow ups had everything tey wanted....how childish that thought is right now. i would give everything i own to be a child right now.

But can't, can i? So i better get a grip and enjoy what i have so i won't grow old and regret what i have missed and lost. I guess there is nothing wrong in wishing just remember it pays more to be REAL and TRUE!

So for Moi,
Peace n Out!
Gentlehawk

THE MASK

Hey guys,

I wrote this article years ago and looking at the world today, I have an urge to share it once again.

So happy reading!

Wow, Wow..... just finished watching my favourite sitcom, "Grey's Anatomy' and i had to say,"Wow! Life is really very short not to be real and true to who you really are!  

In this particular episode, Meredite drown while trying to rescue a man,  not because she couldn't swim but basically because she gave up on her life even before it began. 

She's so young yet very messed up in the head, why? She feels everything she holds dear isn't making any sense to her anymore…or rather everyone she thought or really loves  isn't who they say they are. 

NEEDING something is definitely different from WANTING something, and she helped define that clearly.

And there is Izzie and O'malliey, that pair i don’t seem to understand. Just the opposite of our gal (and by the way i should say, i am a big fan of these two). They are getters and when i mean getters, i mean, they go for whatever they believe they need (not that they can't do without it) irrespective of who gets hurts. 

But O'Malliey is one character that seem to put me over board. His posture is way out unstable but inwardly he is as stable and strong as an Arabian Horse. And there is Alex, the "Player", who thinks being emotional makes  him look weak and re-live his childhood which he would rather forget. Though inwardly, he is a good man(which by the way, he does a good job of hiding). 

And my favourite, Christina, the hard core perfectionist who thinks life is all just about competing to be the best and anything less, isn't acceptable.

This sitcom makes me realize that we all, in a way have a Meredite, Izzie, Alex, O'Malliey and Christina in us that makes life kind of crazy yet exciting, stupid yet meaningful. 

I know i've a Meredite in me, who wants to be loved always but is so scared of getting hurt. And also a Christina, who is hurting but hides it by been tough and all. She sees any need of emotion as being weak. 

We are these people and more... this is what makes our life worth living. Life has to have its up and down,  else we will take it for granted. 

Society has so refined us, that being our true self isn't enough, so we are forced to be someone else. We all have something to hide and how best way to hide than to wear masks. 

Mask to keep people at arms length because to us it is best way to keep safe. We convince ourselves that when we wear it long enough we can become the mask/the other person and never hurt again.

But you know what, i'm done wearing masks. You should too. 

I want to be me..ME! It's a lot easier to be me. I want to be able to say how i feel without getting crucify for it. I want to be able to love and take great risk to be loved. I want to be able to make stupid mistakes because that's what makes me human. I want to be able to go swimming in a pool full of HOT guys and pretty girls and display my stretch makes without feeling shy or feel self ….. But infact wanting to flaunt my femininity. I want to be able to think up something crazy and just do it not because it is good but because it feels good and it is fun. I want to be able to go shopping n partying like other girls. I want to be able to live life every minute, every second of the day and seize the moment as it comes.

Above all, i want to do ME, Me, Me and not because some societal ideology sees or say it is right!!! No, but because it is just enough for me. Selfish you may say and that's exactly what I would want  to be …so selfish, THAT I WON’T NEED MY MASK ANYMORE.  We all need to be selfish at one point in time in one's life. It helps to put things in good perspective..... A times!

So stay Real and stay True, it pays and there's gain.

Peace and  Out!

Gentlehawk

A gal's dairy 01

Created this blogger so that i can be free to express myself respective of what others may think.Unlike some, when i'm worried i pen down how i feel to the best of my abilities. I'm young, beautiful, agile, single and very independent which alot times some men find to be intimidating.

However, i love my life to some extent. Sometimes i wish i could just dare to have fun, you know, throw all cares to the wind like my little sister. But i just can't, to much responsiblity to be irresponsible, that what ME tell myself. Ironic isn't it.

My life is so boring that i'm beginning to feel that a 70 year old woman gets more fun out of her life than i do mine. How did i get to this point i ask myself sometimes. Honestly, i just don't know. I'm always too busy to have fun that most of my friends are gone and the ones that stick around are all married and live busy lives.

I loved someone once, half of my life. How do you love someone that much and it hurts so so bad. But the painful thing is the person does not love you back. I have tried to move on with my life but oh men, it's so hard. It's harder than cracking water from a rock, believe me. I want to believe it is an obsession but i'm willing to give up an obsession that is destroying me. An obsession could be cancerous and this gal does not want any cancer. I feel like dancing right now......don't mind me, it's because i'm listening to Shania Twain's "Man!I feel like a woman". Lovely lyrics n song. Anyway, i am crying out to any one out there that has a solution to getting over an obsession, should please holla me ASAP. Because it is "Operation Kick out them Obsession".

It's real and true
Gentlehawk, signing out.
cheerio

A DAY CALLED LOVE

Hey there,

How was your Val's day? Mine was just there, though got several Val wishes from friends through SMS and a lovely gift from a older admirer. He was just a dear.

Down here, traffic was crazy...people were stuck in traffic and were made late for one appointment or the other. I can imagine the facial expression on a gal who was kept waiting because her guy could not get to her on time or a guy who had everything planned for a romantic evening with his gal...... but later discover she wouldnt make it because of traffic.
That's how terrible the traffic was.

Though would have shared what i did on Val's Day with you, but sorry to disappoint you....i live a boring life which is why i started this blogged in the first place (that's the story of my life).
Anyway, this year i saw a new side to valentine's day than the one i'm used to. 

It's more of others than on us. What i'm trying to say is that people are becoming more involved with others than just themselves.

People are spending holidays or the so-called special days with people they don't even know.
The way we see and do things in the past are now gradually been seen as selfish and traded for selflessness. Social responsibility is now the in-thing. 

Giving back to the social is so rewarding and in it's little way helps make the society a better place for all of us.

I think this financial turmoil in the West is a blessing in disguise for Africa (though not in its totality). 

You may ask , Why? How? 

Well, people are becoming aware of the fact that Africa is not just a land of war but is  land full of blessings if one can take a good unbaised view at the continent. It just simply need few good heads to make it a gold mine for business. 

If not, why is that alot of foreign countries bringing in their enterpreneurial and expertize into this great continent? They are looking for ways to invest in the continent which is great in a way (That's if they aren't looking for cheap labour). But that's business, right? However, i am glad we on the spot light for once for a good thing.

For how long? who cares....as long as we are not going to make the same mistakes our forefathers made that led us to the colonial era, and we make the best out of it and tell them "Developed Countries" that they are very,very wrong about us. 

And that we are much more than what they think of us while keeping it real.
Whatever the case maybe, the world is watching and the SET TIME for us to show them that we are great people is now.

Bye for now
it's ur gal....Gentlehawk
Stay Real, Stay True

valentine's day

Life could be a sucker atimes...yet it could be strawberry dip in chocolate.

Whichever way one looks at it, believe me it is the same.

What are we saying, tommorrow is VAL's Day and most of us don't even believe in LOVE anymore and some still do.....but the don't win. Why???

Take for example, Rihanna and Chris' case, one would think they've got it all...a love made in heaven. But see what is happening..only God knows the full story so i would even go there until they both make their public statement. So, contrary to what they make us believe, a made in heaven relationship needs a down to earth working on. How can a good relationship turn sour? What went wrong? Was it HIM or was it HER? All these questions have crossed our minds but you know, it is easier to throw blames than to accept the fault.

Tomorrow, we all will be exchanging gifts with those we love and hold dear to our heart but what we fail to see that one day isn't enough to show these people that we love them. It shoud be a way of life...you may ask "How do i mean". Someone as "Little Grain of sand makes a mighty Ocean", and i so much love that saying because it is absolutely true.

Showing little genuine art of love to those you love everyday no matter how small we may think they are, when you are hurt by the same person believe me they will one day look back and remember these act of love. A man could decide to do the dishes for her when he senses she need a break and she may decide to pay one of the bills for him. A neighbour decides to give a helping hand by taking out the trash or watching over the kids. A brother can take time out of his very busy schedule to teach a little sister how to draw, ride a bicycle or even with her homework. Think of something little to do to someone (not just your sweetheart!) and feel free, feel light and feel loved.

Love is beautiful and very light. Love is a very big thing and it takes a man or a woman with a BIG HEART to love.

ARE YOU ONE?

HAPPY VAL'S DAY TODAY......tomorrow and always.

From Gentlehawk,

Stay real and Stay true.

INTRO

Hey everybody,

I'm ur host on this ride....my blog name is real4u but friends call me gentlehawk.

So i hope we'll be friends and enjoy these rides together because i hate them lonely rides.

We are going to talk about alot of things....from fashion to people to places to events to emotions to sports to whatever you want to talk about as long as it is real.

Cos here is where it starts....yes, this very place.

No holding back nothing or anything...i want to hear it and we want to know it all......lol

Let's get silly, stupid as long as we are so so so REAL!!!!

With alot of things are going on around the world, people need someone to talk to, without been judged. The world is moving so fast and alot of people seem to be entangled in it. Is like the world is going mad. We sleep with every thing fine and we wake up to see disaster. EVEN THE STRONG IS FALLING. But if you don't want to talk about it, fine but i need to tell you what i'm going through....cos i need want to remain sane. And aside that, i want to tell you about alot of beautiful things, places, events and people who are still beautiful despite all this changes around the world. So, maybe you can hang in there for me....ok?

Being REAL is the best thing to do, cos it is what makes LIFE so very TRUE.

so, be real and be true.

from Gentlehawk,
Bye....4 now.