KRISTINA BOBBI BROWN IS DEAD - ANOTHER EPIC FAILURE ON THE PATH OF HOUSTON AND BOBBY FAMILY!

A Sad story to start off a week, don't you think? 

For those of you who don't know who she is. She is the only child of late WHITNEY HOUSTON and Bobby Brown. 

Their marriage - another tale for another day - was one fueled with drugs, abuses, alcohol etc and a bit of confused/blind love on the part of Whitney Houston.

Well, for those who think this is a condolence message, you are so wrong. I am outraged by the stupid and senseless death of this very young woman.

The Houston and Bobby family have both failed Whitney (may her soul rest in peace) and this young woman. I don't care whatever reason they have for just letting her live her life the way she did. It is so irresponsible of all of so called members of the family not to take a stand against a grieving girl and help her through the hard time.

Now she is gone-the only one important thing that WHITNEY asked of y'all, take care of my baby, yet you didn't deliver? Shame on y'all!

You all have failed - again! Just as you failed the mother when she cried for help and none of you listened! (Read my analysis of her song "LOOK TO YOU" on my blog, A CRY FOR HELP - wrote it months before her death).

Rest in Peace, little dove...and in the arms of the Lord and your beloveth Mother!

MOLTEN SADDNESS ( Excerpt)

A cosy but squelchy day it is.

A beautiful day for lovers as they walk and look into each other’s eyes saying all love and true words to each other.

It’s a day a lonely man walks along unnoticed, walked ‘cos no one really cares whether he has eaten or asks where his destination is.

It’s a day the old woman next door gazes out of the window into her world. It’s been years she saw them…fifteen solid sad years. Though it seems like yesterday, they promise to call but…hope everything.

A day the young couple downstairs shouts and yells at each other.

But the old woman doesn't mind at all, in fact, the young couple seems to be happy though they have been doing that for years. Her own life hadn't been like that at all. It was peaceful though tough….raising three boys with a love-full husband. Stephen was always been there for her; every Thanksgiving and Christmas was always an occasion to look forward to. Stephen always gets the big turkey while she stays home to take care of the boys. Their home isn't large but it was comfortable and homely. Anyone would love to return to it after a hard day’s work.

It is a day that the Chinese family few blocks away makes those funny noises, chatting away and singing those folk-songs about spring as a little Chinese girl plays the violin and plays pretty good too.

The puddles made by the rain runs across the road and pavement in a beautiful yet rare pattern.

A day the trees all gaze up to the sky and their leaves shed the after tear-drops of the rain.

The day a little lost puppy cries out ‘cos there’s no one to keep him warm and dry. It cries out to everyone…anyone who walks by but no one cares about a lost wet little creature. Poor lad, all he wants is a loving hand to keep him warm and dry in a cosy home.

A day a poor girl wraps herself up in her rags and sleeps peacefully on that long hard bench in the public park, as she pillows her head with her hands. Dreaming that someday she will grow up to be a beautiful maiden and a charming prince will come and rescue her from all her misery.

A day where three horrible and terrifying looking men in the big tunnel plan to rob the “BIG” bank; sitting round a croaked table with a big dirty paper in front of them, talking all at once.

It’s a day a woman finds out her husband have been unfaithful. Anger mixed with rage mixed with frustration and hatred forced her into precocious labour. Still clenching to the letter she found in her husband’s breast pocket written by another woman informing him about their new baby as she is rushed to the hospital.

A day a man sees no hope in his life. His dreams come crashing down every day he wakes up to see the sun setting.

A day a young lady had her life taken from her when she was diagnose of having cancer.

It’s a day the church bell preaches the good news of heaven to everyone who cares enough to listen.

Oh yes, it is a day that remembers the days!
A day that everyone will never ever forget!!
A day that never forgets the day!!!

Excerpt from my new book, 'Molten Saddness'
Real and True
Real Gentlehawk.

WHO YOU BE

Don't worry guys it's not grammatical, I know but how best can I express this specific thought I have in my head.

If you are from my side of the world, one way or the other, you would have been asked or probably heard someone asking someone or even you this question, "DO YOU KNOW I AM?" And the other party may answer, "WHO YOU BE?" (Okay! English translation, is "WHO ARE YOU?" Satisfy now, so can I go on? *eye rolling* gush!)

The truth be told, a lot of us walk around not knowing who we really are - and I mean REALLY IS! When asked this question, people mainly want to know who your father is and where you come from. They believe that knowing who your father is and where you are from, throws more light on your status, where you've been, what you are about or accomplish, blah-blah stuff like that.

Conversely, many have never even consider that thought and many of us simply go about with this feeling that I am JUST! Well, I am just a teacher, engineer, worker, janitor, doctor etc! 

Flash news people, we are much more than we think we are. We are much more than the jobs we do, the houses we live in, the cars we drive, friends we hang with, qualifications we have, all that nonsense by which the society define us. 

We are not JUST anybody. Oh dear! did I hear you say that I don't have this or that? Now listen and listen very, very carefully; material things or probably having the richest dad doesn't define who you are or better still the country or state doesn't have anything on you. Even animals don't think they are JUST ANIMALS. If you don't believe me approach a lion or a snake or even an unfamiliar dog.

Just the other day I was reading an article and coincidentally the music I was listening to was playing a track that reiterated this article. It was a story about a conversation between two birds. Here goes:

"Perched on a tree branch, two birds were observing passers-by rushing from one place to another. Looking at their faces, one bird asked the other, “Why is man so full of worries and cares?” The other bird answered, “Maybe they don’t have a heavenly Father like we do.” Shrugged their wings they both flew away.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, knowing who you are may and will definitely help you get ahead! Changes starts from the inside. It will motivate and even propel you into doing stuff you never thought you were capable of or also push you in taking decisions that will drastically change you and where you are. Don't worry about people, they will catch up with time (People could be very slow a times, if you get the point).

So "WHO YOU BE?"...

You alone have the answer to this question and getting it right, maybe as well, lead you to a path of discovering the amazing you. 

It isn't about arrogance but about taking pride in knowing who you are and what you stand for. What makes him or her so thick? It is not about the mistakes you have made but more about what lessons have I learnt from them? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

And so when you stand in front of the mirror and ask your reflection "WHO YOU BE?"

Answer yourself not in the light of what you can see but what you really are meant to be. 

Be true and real to you! 

And you will see amazing things happen for you.

Much love and signing out,

Real Gentlehawk 

ON THE FINAL NOTE - HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Driving home the other day, I stopped for gas at the gas station which was a little off my route but had to get the gas for my car for next day journey. Anyway, after I getting the gas I was torn between taking a very long route (which wasn't even an option because it meant I will have to drive through the terrible traffic I just drove through) or look for an alternative route. Then I remember there was indeed an alternative route that could lead me to my destination, so I decided to trace the road leading there.

However, may be it was because I was simply eager to get home or maybe I was just damn tired or maybe I didn't even know the route so well enough, that I wasn't able to just figure out this specific turn point which will lead me to my destination. So after driving for a while, I revised the car and faced the very terrible traffic I was running away from. 

Having learnt my lessons the night before, I decided to acquaint myself with this alternative road just in case I got myself in a similar situation once again. But as I drove through the very road, I discovered that if only I had just kept going a little farther, the turning point I search for was about 200m ahead. 

So I began to laugh at myself and then it hit me...

How many times have we given up on things, people and situation not knowing that the answer is just 200m ahead of us? How many times have we gone through painful issues thinking it just the end of the world, throwing in the towel and saying we can't do or handle it anymore but not knowing that our solution, our testimony, our victory, our healing, our breakthrough, our change, our upliftment is just 200meters ahead of us? 

If only we just hold on a little longer, persevere just a little more and our blessings will be ours.

2014 has been an amazing year for a lot of people I know and for some like me, well, we are hoping 2015 will be a better year.

But regardless, we all should be grateful for everything for everything we've been through and has gone through us - good, bad and ugly, because if it didn't kill you in 2014 then we have an opportunity to improve and make the most of our lives.

So on this final note, out of 2014 into 2015, will like to leave you with some thoughts.

Things may not seem to look the way you wish or hoped for it to be in 2014, but 2015, is another opportunity to fight for and be persistent in what you want for your life. Do all you can to stand, just for the fact that you are even alive to see 2015 is a testimony that you are already victorious and you can do anything. 

Stand tall and stand high. Your now definitely don't define your future.

Giving up isn't an option and so you should never ever consider it. 

If people don't believe in you, believe in yourself because with time those that really do matter will always come around. 

2015 is a year of letting go of everything that will make you less of yourself.  Be it any relationship, environment, thoughts, emotions, etc. just let it go...fight for YOU, YOUR DREAM, YOUR DESTINY and LIFE! 

Remember just ahead you is your testimony.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

 

THANKFUL HEART!

It was my birthday few weeks ago and I look at my life, I see how far I have come and how far I still have to go. Despite this, I'm grateful for where I am. From being a naive and timid girl, to a mature and confident woman. Still growing though! And for that, I have a lot of people to thank.

Firstly, I want to thank God Almighty for creating me, someone unique and special. For making my dad find my mum. And not just that, for making my dad forget what condom was the night I was conceived. 

For designing the blue print for my life journey. For sticking with me when others forsook me. For being my anchor, rock and shield. For teaching me what true love really is and help me believe in it. Thank you!

To my family, who stood by me all these years and still remain firm behind me despite my imperfection, they believe in me regardless. Nurtured me, fought with and for me and never ever giving up on me. You guys are my rock and my platform. Thank you! 

To the my true friends, who know that there isn't any thing known as perfection and that imperfection is a great and truthful way of life - life that is meaningful and purposeful! Thank you all for having my back. To those friends, who mocked my stupidity and toughness behind me and smile sweetly in front of me, thank you for helping know what the meaning of true friendship and to cherish it with all I've got. Thanks!

To all them teachers who said I won't amount to nothing because they felt I wasn't bright enough and to those teachers who still believed and saw greatness beyond this slow learner, therefore help propelled me for success and fought for me. To you all I say a big Thank you!

To all my good, the bad and the ugly lovers, who taught me what love is and is not...who helped me discover that "I am enough". Who, through pain, hurt and disappointment, I reached that point of self discovery, strength and appreciation. Who showed me that I am tougher than I look and that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I say a fantastic thank you!

To all my bosses, for believing in me enough to give me the responsibility to show my strengths and weaknesses. Thank you!

To everyone who I have come in connect with in this life journey and will come in connect in the future...thanking you for the impact you have and will have on me.

And to those I forgot to mention, thank you too!

Kisses and Hugs

Your Gal,

Gentlehawk!

Too fast too slow

Okay guys, have ever taken a step in your life and wish you hadn't because really, if you had waited a little bit longer, it would have been much better.

So you can hear, life laugh and say, "In your face"...

Now you guys know that I'm a wreck-kinda-person waiting to happen, and it is doesn't take that long for me to end up doing the stupidest thing, right? 

So anyways, I had this not too serious issue for a long while, was hoping that it will come to an end and God knows, I tried to stick it this one out this time but with each passing day, my hope of an end begins to diminish and subconsciously I began to seek a way out to solving this problem by myself just in case. And I believe a lot of people call that "plan B" or "Back up plan".

And as the days pass, the more agitated I became. I believed I said to myself, "God will work it out and the solution to my problems is just around the corner", yet the more I think I said that, the more I tried to generate a plan B.

It is in fact very amazing when we human think we have the answers to every life situations. We say we can do it all by ourselves, we do not need anyone's help. We say to ourselves, "I'm smart, intelligent and brilliant. I have a degree, or better still a masters degree...no, no, the best of it all, is that I have a PhD. So what can't i do? I can make it work...I can solve the problem ALL BY MYSELF! Besides, the solution to the problem coming from above is just too slow for me".

The truth of the matter is that, that very point when we decide to make use of our plan B or back up plan, we are usually so close to getting our solution or answers but because we are not patient, we tend to mess up the cycle.

Seriously when people say patience is a virtue...I usually laugh but the truth is that it really is a virtue. Looking around us today we can see the consequences of impatience in every area of man's endeavor.

So as I was saying, I had formulated a back up plan and was working at it to see how I can implement it. Going all out to get resources and materials to help bring to life my solution. Hmmm, I felt so smart and independent. I felt well finally the wait is almost over.

But the truth is, it is indeed almost over but I didn't know it. I didn't know that if indeed I decide to go ahead with my plan, I am about to throw a wedge into the actual plan and increase my waiting period.

Well, God been so good I didn't go ahead with my plan, not that I didn't want to but basically because He intervened in the situation just in the nick of time, so I didn't get the time to.

My thought is He is getting tired of fixing my mess but instead it is better preventing me from them. And I totally agree, sometimes I wonder why I am so mess-prone. ;)

Anyways, in the end everything worked out well which made me think why do we move faster then out time. Why are we impatient despite the history has always proven otherwise. You answer your own questions! 

Too fast, too slow...just perfect. Peace out

Strawberry kisses

Your gal

Real Gentlehawk

 

RAPE BY MY COUNTRY

If I may please have your attention, I promise not to take much of your precious time as the piece will change your perception of me!

I tried to do good in my life, really I tried but the more I tried the more worse I become. Never thought I would be there. Well, a lot of people would say some people went through it to but the survived...became better! 

True! But not everyone got the same will-power, that's why we are so different and are required to balance one another out.

That's why we are beings, we need one another because we can't do it alone!

So how did I end up here and why did I end up here? 

Firstly, this is not an excuse, however, I will ask you not to please judge me until you walked a mile in my shoes. 

My dignity, integrity, dreams and aspirations were all striped from me within a twinke of an eye. Yet my assailants didn't stop, no one to call to for help, because even the so called "help" are good friends with my assailant. My assailant didn't even look back to see if I lived or died, instead my assailant is having fun, partying and looting at my predicament.

My assailant is someone I look up to, love and respect, trust and obey! Will freely give up my life if asked to because my assailant is part of me and I, of my assailant!

But my assailant betrayed my trust, love and respect...my assailant raped me! 

Though I fought back, really I did but it was all in vain because my assailant is bigger and stronger. And when I asked why? My assailant only laughed!

So I am asking again, why do you rape me! Your own flesh and blood! Your very own, why do you keep raping me? Taking everything that make me human...degrading me to an animal! 

No, I take that back, not animal. Because even animals show compassion to their own kind. You degrade me to what is less than an animal.

You are suppose to be my protector, my defender and my warrior but nay, you are the predator, the taker and destroyer. A killer of dreams, a changer of destinies, and mower of lives.

Why oh why, do you not see what you are doing to me when you rape me over and over and over again? Every time, I think it is over, and begin to pick up the pieces of a life that is left, then you come back charging at me once again and the latter worse than the former. Why oh why?

Why do you keep raping me, my dear country? All I want is to live and let's live! Love you with all my heart and might. Be a doctor or an engineer or even a teacher. I just want to have a right to good living even if I have to pay for it, a right to a good school, a good meal and a good warm bed. And as I said, I am even willing to pay for it because I am ready to work to get the money. 

You have taken away every bit of patriotism in me, cos you have taught me never to trust in you. Every day I wake to a self esteem that is lower than the low! I try to run to other countries, alas, I run in vain because the ones that ain't your allies, are so mean/atrocious that even their goodness looks a lot appealing than yours.

So again I ask, why do you rape me, my country! 

I am not asking for much, all I am asking for is my right to live, my right to dignity, a right to integrity, a right to love, a right to hope, a right to much more BUT most of all a right to be HUMAN! 

Stop, please stop, because I can take this no more!

Don't forget that the same letters in RAPE are contain in REAP. Need I say more!

To everyone who have been raped emotionally, physically, intellectually, and mentally...this is to you!

You are not alone!

True and real

Real Gentlehawk