THE BREAK OF A NEW DAWN by ISI 1

I have known real gentlehawk for some years now.

Real gentlehawk is someone who comes across as a goal-getter. She is someone who knows what she wants and is not afraid to reach out for her heart’s desires.
She approached me, telling me she would like me to come on board her editorial team and she went further to tell me beautiful adjectives on my capabilities based on her interactions with me and referrals from people. I blushed and said an effusive thank-you!

Part of the mandate given to me was ‘a no-holds-barred’ articles. She said she wanted articles that would be as real as can be. She said she wanted people to have insights to ‘our’ person. She wanted people to identify with us like they have known us, she wanted us to be a team of writers who people could trust, and who would say the truth regardless of whose ox would be gored. The mandate sounded scary and challenging but I was and I am thrilled at this ‘newest’ journey of my life.
I welcome you to this journey of discovery and rediscovery of who I am, who you can be, who I was, who you used to be, who I aspire to be, your aspirations, who I can be and who you can be. This journey would most certainly be boring without you. Please oblige me as we undertake this journey together. Hand in hand we would walk together, talk together, discover our potentials both known and unknown. We would be friends.
I pondered on what would be my first piece. I searched the core of my being for a title that would make front page header. I wanted to impress you but again realgentlehawk’s words re-echoed in my ears ’be real’. It was at that moment this title came to mind ‘The break of a new dawn’.

I had to search the net for a word that best described ‘The break of a new dawn’. I saw so many meanings and had a hard time settling for one definition.
After a long search, I settled for these:
1. The time of day when light first appears as the sun rises.
Thesaurus: morning, sunrise, daybreak, daylight, sun-up (US), aurora;
Antonym: dusk, sundown, sunset.

2. The beginning of (a new period of time, etc).
Thesaurus: beginning, outset, onset, origin, birth, genesis, inception, start, rise, advent, emergence, dawning.

Ref:http://www.writersevents.com/Words_Starting_with_A/at_a_tangent_at_the_most/at_the_break_of_dawn_definition.html

I would not speak for realgentlehawk but for me, being asked to write on realgentlehawk’s space is a new period of time for me. I have been writing since I was 10 years old. I wrote when I was happy, I wrote when I was sad. Writing while growing up meant so much to me.
I entered secondary school joined the school’s press club where I wrote most of the editorial pieces. I continued this writing trade of mine to university where I wrote for a couple of media houses on campus.

Then I started working. Writing, took the back seat of my life. I barely wrote but when I did, I wrote out of the anguish of my heart particularly when one of my bosses had got me pissed. I would ‘diss’ them using my pen. ‘The pen was mightier than the sword’.
At some point, life seemed like a drab. Using other talents of mine like singing, I tried to keep myself busy and happy. There was still an emptiness I felt…

I am glad to be onboard this new voyage. Would all of my emptiness end? ‘I cannot categorically say’ *smiles*. However, I plan to utilize this platform given to me to expend myself to you. I want to dare people to be the best that God have them be. You, yes you, were born for a purpose.
While I am not the best me yet, I ‘am certain that you’d find me inspiring and fun to be with. It’s a new dawn for me. Welcome to my world…

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHT

I was young when I first heard that phrase, “A penny for your thought”. I’m not sure who used it first, my mum or dad but the first time I heard and understood it, it was like music to my ears. I practically used it in every sentence I made for a week…and you know how it goes with kids when it come to new toys. You play with it none stop until you get a new one then you dump the old one.

Not until last week while a couple of my friends and I were discussing some issues facing the young adults of today that the phrase came to mind again.

Śādī – love the Hindu word for marriage. I love the way it's pronounced.

Marriage, a very sensitive yet exciting topic that most people forget that it is not just all about the D-day but the moments after the D-day that is the real deal.



Though the statistic of divorce rate in the world right now is dropping but few years ago the high rate was so alarming to the extent that a lot of young adults would rather have a relationship known as what my mother would call "Why get the cow when you are getting the milk" kind of arrangement. It was safer that way, young adults weren't longer risk takers.



Everywhere you look, there is always a failed marriage, reminding you that "You had better play it smart and safe or you are going to get hurt". As my friends and i continued with our discussion, we discovered that the reasons why there are a lot of failed marriages which most times end up in divorce, is that people fail at communicating.

Now, kindly let me explain what i mean by this form of communicate, because it is definitely different from the usual communication required of any couple.

This form of communication requires one to talk about all crazy stuff before, during and after marriage and the interesting part is that this communication is not only with your spouse but with people around you. Where best can one get information if not from people who have been there and done that. Someone once said that "You can't know more than the OLD, because the OLD has more experience at being YOUNG and being OLD, whereas the YOUNG only has experience at being YOUNG".

What i am trying to say is, A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHT and maybe it may save a life or two and help bring joy to homes.

Many at times, i hear married women/men hide by lying about their marriage. They pretend that all is well and rosy, knowing well that it isn't. This makes me wonder why they do what they do?

Don't they realise that they are kind of an ambassador to that institution called marriage? Don't they realise that some group of people are watching to learn and see how it is done? Or maybe, it is just out of spite to those who aren't married, or maybe they just want them to make the same mistakes, so that the world would be a better place.

Whatever the reason, A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHT. Please make sense of what marriage is by discussing what you are going through with 'us' and maybe 'we' won't be as judgemental about it as we are.

We live in a world that is so hypocritical of a lot of stuff and due to that people aren't true to themselves any longer. And how would they, when the society will be so quick to judge them. The truth is that Marriage is like training a child - an old african adage says that "a woman gives birth to a child be the whole town helps to train that child".




So again, i ask pleading, A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHT!!!!

Real n True
Gentlehawk

A LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD

Hey little angel,

Here is your mummy, she loves you so, so much and therefore decides to write these letters to you because you mean the world to her and you are her world.

My prayer is that you won’t be more confused than you already are because child you definitely will, every day of your life.
You will always want to have a sense of belonging and a sense of acceptance in this crazy world that is so hypocritical.

However, before mummy goes on, let me first say I am proud and honoured to be your mother and no matter what the outcome of your life, I will forever be proud of you as my child. You are my angel and the best thing that ever happened to me.
If I am not reading this to you, it simply means I am no more with you to hold you, care for you, tuck you in and kiss goodnight, take you to your first school, be there when you come home, cried that you are going off to college, comfort you when you get your first heart break, help you with your homework, and so many firsts……but my love, my little angel, I will always be with you because my blood flows in your veins and not just that I am in heaven watching over you.

My love, my unborn child, there are many things I want to tell you, so many things you will face as you grow but irrespective of all this, you will overcome them by LOVING AND STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF.
Never feel a need to be liked by all but always feel a need to be like by yourself and you will see others liking you.

PRE-HIGH SCHOOL could be fun and great but also it can be painful, like falling from your bike or a tree or pavement or even worse, losing your favourite toy. But don’t let it change you, be true to what you believe deep inside. Stand for what you believe in, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and you will see with time they will come to accept you for who you are. Pre-school has a way of molding you but it is the best part of your school years because it is the year you will be able to get away with everything cause you are still cute and adorably looking. But most importantly because you are still open in heart and mind, for you then, there should always be a reason why you can’t do anything. Meaning with you, everything is possible until you are marred.

HIGH SCHOOL years are the years in your life that if you do not know who you are and what you stand for, you will be toss to and fro with difference doctrines out there. Remember, you would meet others with different thoughts and behaviours.
School life is not the end of the world; believe me when I say that it is just a beginning of great things. Never ever judge yourself based on how or what you are, in school because life won’t judge you on that. School is where you build your true self. It is like seeing yourself in a bad mirror and thinking that, that’s your real self. So you need to stay strong because the real deal is AFTER SCHOOL.

That is when you will understand that those who portray themselves as strong or cool are not as strong or cool as they look and AFTER SCHOOL will have sieved the chaff out, so don’t sweat it.

With RELATIONSHIPS, your mum is the bomb when it come it this…or not (joking my love, my sunshine). Mum messed this up several times but irrespective of it all, she got you. Really, when it comes to this don’t let anyone tell you how to go about this, even me, your mum because no one has the answer to this one. You have to experience it to love it and want it.

On this, one hug doesn't fit all but instead one hug is for one. Uniqueness is the key to all relationships and when you try once and it doesn't work, try and try again, till you get the special one for you...remember FOR YOU, not for anyone but for you. Well child, the truth is that, for it to be true LOVE it is going to hurt, REALLY HURT. If it doesn't, how would you learn to appreciate and fight for it? However it goes; never ever give up on it and most importantly on yourself. It may tarry but believe me baby, it will surely come. Life will suck when you are looking for true love but once found; you would forget all the pain it caused you to find it, it just like the pain of having a baby. But before I move on from this, true love is not Cinderella or Princess Jasmine love story. Trying not to say that those kind of love doesn't happen because it does happen but don’t base yours on that. What I'm trying to say is that, don’t box your love, give it wings to fly.

FAMILY should be very important to you because they will always stick with you no matter what. When world turns it’s back on you, don’t turn your back on the world because you still have your family who are part of the world. Your family should always supersede every other thing. They help you root your life and besides they are the one thing you can’t change or choose.

Your father is an amazing person and he loves me and you dearly, when everyone stopped believing in me, he stood strongly behind me. He is my anchor, my shield, my lover and he is my friend. He is the reason why I am proud to call you my very own. He loved me like no man could. Messing up and giving up on my life, he found me and restored me to my glory. I love him like I have ever loved any other.

I remember the first time I felt love for your father, crazy it may seem, we were not even dating then just friends…
The night at a bar, just having a drink and he was so sweet and funny, I love to hear him talk which was weird because I get bored easily with guys who tend to talk alot. Playfully that very night he kissed my forehead and I don’t remember any man ever doing that to me before and it felt good and I mean really good.

Duh! You may say but for me it wasn’t. There and then, he possessed my heart and mind. Without even realizing I was in love with him, I spent every free hours without him. I wasn’t looking for love but love looked for me.
It is best thing that ever happen to me was meeting and loving him because it made me very happy indeed.
So I tell you, if it seems that love is not close to you, please my little one, don’t give up on you and your God.

GOD – some people say that he doesn’t exist, some say he does but what does he care, some even say that he is partial; some even say there is a higher power up there who is just having fun with humanity.
My little angel, I wouldn’t tell you if he does or doesn’t exit. Why not, you may ask? Well, because you need to search for him to know if he exists or not. He is better found by one self for you to appreciate if he does or doesn’t. Forget what you have been taught in school, church, mosque, on TV etc. search for him yourself and you will find more than you bargained for.

So my baby, I will stop here but not for long, because you will get the next letter soon.
Mum loves you from here to the end of the earth and back and there again and back again, until to the end of the earth.

Yours Sincerely
Forever and ever Mummy

FREE WILL

Hey friends, Today, as I was having my morning tea, thinking about things, a girl always think about when they are all by themselves ........that was when i thought about this topic…FREE WILL. Interesting topic this is…… Free will, everyone talks about it, there are movies made about it but the true question is, is there anything known as free will and if there is, what is it? Does anyone or everyone have a right to it? Or there is someone out there who dishes it out to us? Who control this so called free will and if that is the case, how can it be free if you don’t even get to choose what kind of will you want? My only sister use to laugh at me when I watch television. She says I watch TV like someone who is in the story. Well, not far from the truth, and that is because I watch TV to understand the reason behind the story. Like what was the writer thinking about when he wrote that movie or why the writer decides to do what he/she this way and not the other way. Why the movies aren’t like the other way or why choose to be this way. I guess, my logical self love to understand the why, what and when. I feel safe that way. It may sound crazy but hey, it is me. So hey this free will thing, is it actually free, and how come it doesn’t look that way. As I began my research into this intriguing word, I would like you to open your mind, let go of all prejudices and of everything you have ever heard about it and see, if we could actually discover something together on this journey. The dictionary on my laptop gave me the definition of free will as “The power of making free choices unconstrained by external agencies” or better still “Done of your own accord”. Let me also say that one is a noun and the other is an adjective. So loving English right now… So I go check the renowned Oxford Advanced Learner English Dictionary, “The power to make your own decision without being controlled by God or fate”. And I will define it as simple as ABC, “A will that is absolutely free” or something like that. So the truth is that nothing comes free…well, in life. Okay guys there you have it, so tell me you don’t question free will or maybe I don’t understand the concept? I do want to really know what you think on this because to be honest, I'm kind of confused here. This may sound very ridiculous but I have thought long and hard about it. And if I decide to write down everything I thought on this, I am so sure I'm going to bore you. But it will be nice to have your comments on this; maybe I can pick one or two things from you guys. Till I hear from you, keep it real and true, to who you really are. I'm yours always. Gentlehawk

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 2

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed my last blog….but if not, be nice and not say anything. But if you did enjoy my last blabbing then you might enjoy this love poem I found many years ago which I think perfectly summarizes what I’ve been trying to say in the last blog. Though it is may refer to marriage but let’s focus on the relationship part of all this. And if you are mushy as I am then you will love it as I did and mostly importantly, open your heart to understand thing more than I can explain. Well the truth is I don’t proof read my blog, just write it as I think it. Why, you ask? Because I hate perfect and in-the-box, and when I do proof read I change what should be and the fact is this blog is more than me, it’s you, it’s us and being real and true to ourselves.

CHOOSE TO LOVE I married a man I respect, I have no need to bow or defer, I married a man I adore and admire, I don’t need to be handed a list entitle, ‘How to build his ego’ or, ‘The male need for admiration’, Love, worship, loyalty, trust – there are inside me, They motivate my actions, To reduce them to rules destroys my motivation, I choose to serve him, to enjoy him, We choose to live together and grow together, To stretch our capacities for love together, Even when it hurts and look like a conflict, We choose to learn to know each other, As real people, as two unique individuals, Unlike any other two, Our marriage is a commitment to love, To belong to each other, To know and understand, To care, To share ourselves, our goals, our interests, Our desires, our needs, Out of that commitment the action follows.

Peace and out!!! Gentlehawk

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

    Do happily ever after do really happen, or is it a long far fetch dream of people who don’t want to come in tune with reality? 

In my opinion, and I repeat again, IN MY OPINION, I think happily ever after does happen but only to those who really work for it and are open to the endless possibilities it brings with it. Not to forget that, to be happy in every sense, is a choice one has to make. No matter how far or how long, happiness isn’t in tangible things but in intangible things.

The Cinderella tales or the Rapunzel story may be fables but in every stories or fables there is always an iota or element of truth. 

Some people don’t even believe in ‘happily ever after’ and this is like saying you don’t believe in dogs and again that is my opinion. Thinking of this makes me kind of realize that we determine our own happily ever after, even Snow White had to work out her ‘happily ever after’ with her seven dwarfs. 

So if you want to have any ‘happily ever after’ relationships (formal or informal) there’s got to be a WORKING. So how do you WORK at a relationship you don’t know even know if it will work or needs working? Hmmm, good point? 

 Well, the truth of the matter is that anything worth having needs WORK. When I was younger, I heard some say that "Even heavenly made marriage need a down to earth maintenance”. Don’t know how true that is but it makes sense.

 

Most of the time we just lay back and think we will figure things out along the way. Hell no, things don’t just happen…you have to make it happen. 

Playing my role in any relationship is one way to make it work. 

Getting information and education on how to make relationship is also a point breaker. 

You need to know and understand what makes any relationship work. When you have information on how relationship works, even when you feel like you have had enough of driving the car, you just keep on steering and not give up because you know that it is just but for a season. 

Never leave any relationship to chance, believe me if you do it will come back to bite you in the ass. Most times we have this misconception that the grass is greener on the other side when the truth of the matter is that the grass isn’t and it only looks green on the other side because the other side waters its grass. 

 So, if you want a happily ever after relationship don’t leave it to chance. Get information, play your part and work at it. If you want, get it. 

So be real and be true, to yourself 

Peace!!! Gentlehawk

LIFE! OH LIFE!!

You know every time i open my blog page, i lose my inspiration to write and i have come to realize that my inspiration, like my heart, has a mind of its own. It usually show up in the weirdest places, like when i am in the shower, or doing my business(don't pretend you don't know what i'm talking about), or cooking, or even at the peak of work day or like this story i'm about to tell you, while driving. 

 It is amazing how thoughts just keep streaming out of my head but i don't have the chance or time to put it down. 

However, just like one of TED speakers who once told that inspiration "thing" to behave and yelled back at it "Can't it see i am driving, come back when we are both not busy". 

It may sound hilarious but it kinda true. Anyways, this very day while driving to work, which i do a lot and not that i enjoy it. In this part of my world, transport systems sucks. So having a car is no luxury like most people think, in fact if i had a better option i would go for it.

Though sometimes it could be interesting, but many atimes it is pure madness, just like this very day that i was almost ran over by another road user. The guy was such in a hurry that it didn't matter who got hurt as long as he gets to where he was going. 

At first i felt angry at him, for putting me and others in danger because of his craziness, then after a moment or two, i felt nothing.......and then i felt pity for him. If only he know, understand and accepted the fact of Life, he won't be in such a hurry. 

 The driver or my co-road user, doesn't seem to understand that both of us aren't going to the same destination and that competing with me or anyone else on the road for that matter doesn't make sense.I have my destination and he has his. Even if he gets there (his destination) first it doesn't really matter because it is not my destination and i am not planning to go to his destination. And because I have my destination, i will get there at my own time. 

The fact that we are both using the same route doesn't imply that we are meant to be heading in the same destination. Been ahead of me doesn't necessarily mean that i would or can't overtake him too. Truth be told, many of us drive our lives just the same way. 

We are in a habit of living our lives based on someone else's. We all are created for a particular destination, our timing will therefore be different. Because you got to your destination before me doesn't mean I won't get to mine at my own time. 

Like my kid sister use to say, 'In life, there is always room for latecomers'.

So why not enjoy the now as we drive through our lives. And don't be in such hurry in getting to the destination that you miss out in the beauty, the warmth, the growth and peace that's all around us. Just like driving, people forget to take cognizance of the fact that we get to do this only once because scenery change, situation change no matter how many times we drive through that route it is never ever the same process. 

So why not enjoy your now on the way to where you are going. 

Be True and Real.

Real Gentlehawk