I would like to discuss a serious and sensitive topic with you...a topic that I find intriguing and compelling.
Today, I would like to share some stuff on relationship and women. This topic came up whilst I was gisting with one of my girlfriends and she mentioned that a friend of hers is contemplating adoption because she is tired of men and their schemes. That adopting a baby is a far reliable option since age isn't on her side. So i decided to get someone else's perspective on the subject, so here is Forlah, with her views being someone who knows heart ache and pain...
So without much ado, Forlah, explains to us things women do/ feel after been broken...here is Forlah!
"Many a times, I have heard and seen women miss out on life’s blessings, because they have refused to let go and Let God.
So many women live empty lives today, because they have failed to accept that the past ought not to be dragged into the present. Yes, pain hurts and rejection hurts but, take it from a woman who has “been there”, loneliness hurts even more.
Dear woman, I know what it means to feel pain. I have felt it. I understand you feel betrayed. I have felt it. You are angry. Oh yes, I have been Mad as hell. But, do you know that those things happened for a good reason? There is a reason that relationship, or THOSE relationships you have passed through did not work.
Now, let’s get real here.
“He cheated. He is so ungrateful and inhuman. He was so mean to me. After all I did for him, he messed around with someone else, and even when I forgave him, he ended up dumping me. I cannot forgive him, ever. Men are evil. I HATE men”….. Ladies, kindly pick from the list above. How many of these words have you uttered in anger? Do not be shy, for Yours Truly has said ALL. Yes, take it from a woman who has loved and hurt.
Some of you might have said these words too many a time and now feel that you are better off without the “evil species” called Men. I hear some women have even decided that they are not going to ever try any relationship again. After all, the relationship would definitely end like the previous ones (hmmmmn, already with the mindset that it won’t work out). Some women might say, “Hey, I don’t need a man. I’d just adopt a couple of kids and we would live happily ever after”….. Wake Up Miss Thing. You are living in denial and the earlier you woke up from that hellhole of a dream, the better for you.
Now, some of you are getting angry right? “Who is this woman and what gives her the right to talk here?” So, let me introduce myself to you. I am your reflection. I am that angry voice in your head cursing and screaming at all the men out there. I am that evil look in your eyes that flashes when any man walks up to you to say a simple “hello”.
I can identify with these feelings because I felt the same way. When you love one man for 10 whole years, tie your life around him, become his wife ( well, almost), even when you are not married to him, only to have him wake up one day, look you in the eyes and say “Baby I love you, but I’m not good enough for you.
I’m sure there’s a man out there for you. You deserve to move on with your life, (bla bla black sheep)”.
Your reaction would be a range of these options:
A- Shoot this guy abeg (violence).
B-What da Hell? (Anger)
C-Please God, tell me I’m dreaming (total confusion)
D-Baby please, tell me what I did wrong and I’d fix it (Stoop to beg) and finally:
E-How can you do this to me? Where am I supposed to start from? Who would I love? After loving you alone for 10 years of my life and waiting for you? (Unanswered questions).
Then, there are those friends, those ones who have helped you plan your dream wedding with this your “dream man”.
How do you tell them it’s over? They would be so shocked.
And your family? The ones who have asked you for several years if indeed you know what you are doing, waiting for one man while rejecting numerous suitors. How do you look them in the face and accept defeat? For a while, you’d hide the truth from them. Till it becomes obvious there’s an issue and you are forced to spill the beans.
Days become weeks, weeks turn to months (and, in some cases, years). You lose your spark; you bury yourself in work (and might even get promoted for the extra performance). You become a shadow of yourself. Uninterested, unmotivated and with a big hole in your heart, you tell yourself “Never. Never again will I let myself feel such pain”. So, you do what I did.
You carve a very fine key, lock up your heart, throw the key into the Atlantic and become anti-male".
So many women live empty lives today, because they have failed to accept that the past ought not to be dragged into the present. Yes, pain hurts and rejection hurts but, take it from a woman who has “been there”, loneliness hurts even more.
Dear woman, I know what it means to feel pain. I have felt it. I understand you feel betrayed. I have felt it. You are angry. Oh yes, I have been Mad as hell. But, do you know that those things happened for a good reason? There is a reason that relationship, or THOSE relationships you have passed through did not work.
Now, let’s get real here.
“He cheated. He is so ungrateful and inhuman. He was so mean to me. After all I did for him, he messed around with someone else, and even when I forgave him, he ended up dumping me. I cannot forgive him, ever. Men are evil. I HATE men”….. Ladies, kindly pick from the list above. How many of these words have you uttered in anger? Do not be shy, for Yours Truly has said ALL. Yes, take it from a woman who has loved and hurt.
Some of you might have said these words too many a time and now feel that you are better off without the “evil species” called Men. I hear some women have even decided that they are not going to ever try any relationship again. After all, the relationship would definitely end like the previous ones (hmmmmn, already with the mindset that it won’t work out). Some women might say, “Hey, I don’t need a man. I’d just adopt a couple of kids and we would live happily ever after”….. Wake Up Miss Thing. You are living in denial and the earlier you woke up from that hellhole of a dream, the better for you.
Now, some of you are getting angry right? “Who is this woman and what gives her the right to talk here?” So, let me introduce myself to you. I am your reflection. I am that angry voice in your head cursing and screaming at all the men out there. I am that evil look in your eyes that flashes when any man walks up to you to say a simple “hello”.
I can identify with these feelings because I felt the same way. When you love one man for 10 whole years, tie your life around him, become his wife ( well, almost), even when you are not married to him, only to have him wake up one day, look you in the eyes and say “Baby I love you, but I’m not good enough for you.
I’m sure there’s a man out there for you. You deserve to move on with your life, (bla bla black sheep)”.
Your reaction would be a range of these options:
A- Shoot this guy abeg (violence).
B-What da Hell? (Anger)
C-Please God, tell me I’m dreaming (total confusion)
D-Baby please, tell me what I did wrong and I’d fix it (Stoop to beg) and finally:
E-How can you do this to me? Where am I supposed to start from? Who would I love? After loving you alone for 10 years of my life and waiting for you? (Unanswered questions).
Then, there are those friends, those ones who have helped you plan your dream wedding with this your “dream man”.
How do you tell them it’s over? They would be so shocked.
And your family? The ones who have asked you for several years if indeed you know what you are doing, waiting for one man while rejecting numerous suitors. How do you look them in the face and accept defeat? For a while, you’d hide the truth from them. Till it becomes obvious there’s an issue and you are forced to spill the beans.
Days become weeks, weeks turn to months (and, in some cases, years). You lose your spark; you bury yourself in work (and might even get promoted for the extra performance). You become a shadow of yourself. Uninterested, unmotivated and with a big hole in your heart, you tell yourself “Never. Never again will I let myself feel such pain”. So, you do what I did.
You carve a very fine key, lock up your heart, throw the key into the Atlantic and become anti-male".
Well, if you want to know what happened next...BRUISED BUT NOT BROKEN
Forlah's next blog will give you the concluding part of this heart-felt and life changing story. So I leave you all with this last words
"We are human and emotions are our defence mechanism, necessary for our survival. But when we dont guard them or control them, they tend to destroy us. So be careful to let your emotions control you".
So remember, let's keep it real and true.
Gentlehawk
www.realgentlehawk.com
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