WHAT THE DAUGHTER DOES, THE MOTHER DID - - (A JEWISH PROVERB)
I was on the phone with a good friend of mine the other day, we were chatting about a lot of things, including his upcoming trips and wedding, but majorly why he hasn’t been keep in touch.
“Work my dear, it takes too much of my time. I have been terribly busy”, he said.
Can you imagine that? i have been busy with work, is his excuse?
Guy, I really don’t get them when their only excuse is ‘work’. We know that already and stop making the rest of us look so unserious.
Guy, I really don’t get them when their only excuse is ‘work’. We know that already and stop making the rest of us look so unserious.
Anyways, that was on a lighter note (hey, up me, i made a joke).
But seriously, back to what i was saying, while scolding him on that (by the way which I enjoy doing with my guys friends – it is fun acting like their mother, most times they are kids… at heart, irrespective of their Spartan exterior), he said something very alarming and surprisingly as well.
Well for me it was, also my response shocked me even further (read on and you will see why).
I made a comment on something I really can't remember what but his response to it was that, “You sound so much like your mother right now”.
When he said that I was taken aback but really, the surprise was from what I found myself replying. I found myself saying, “Why not, I am my mother’s daughter”.
Well as a girl who partially grew up in what felt like a single parent but actually having both parents (long story…and by the way it is complicated!!!) most of my young life, my mother was my inspiration and anchor (duh! don’t we all say that!).
Well for me it was, also my response shocked me even further (read on and you will see why).
I made a comment on something I really can't remember what but his response to it was that, “You sound so much like your mother right now”.
When he said that I was taken aback but really, the surprise was from what I found myself replying. I found myself saying, “Why not, I am my mother’s daughter”.
Well as a girl who partially grew up in what felt like a single parent but actually having both parents (long story…and by the way it is complicated!!!) most of my young life, my mother was my inspiration and anchor (duh! don’t we all say that!).
As I grew from a child to a teenager/young lady, I didn’t think that anymore. I felt she was mean, not supportive and not smart enough to help me, or better still, befriend me (Do not look at me as if you don’t know what I am talking about or this thought has never crossed your mind).
Both of us are always at each other’s throat…the truth then was, it was either I kill her or she kills me, well, literally, it was simple as that. And you know mothers (a good one, is what I am referring to), they never give up on you.
But as I grew a little older, in maturity I mean, I began to understand and see that despite the fact that my mother isn't perfect, she still loves me with her life.
Both of us are always at each other’s throat…the truth then was, it was either I kill her or she kills me, well, literally, it was simple as that. And you know mothers (a good one, is what I am referring to), they never give up on you.
But as I grew a little older, in maturity I mean, I began to understand and see that despite the fact that my mother isn't perfect, she still loves me with her life.
Her imperfection may be a thing of confusion to me, but the truth is that her imperfection is what makes her human - loving, caring and giving. So I took a good look at myself, reassess myself and discovered that I am not perfect also.
So whatever, she is all I have got and ever get and I love her because in her imperfection, there is a resounding and resilience perfection.
And as that Jewish proverb said, i can bet my life on it that she also had the same feelings or reservations about my grandmother as I have of her, yet the amazing thing about all this is that, with every generation, the imperfections get better.
And as that Jewish proverb said, i can bet my life on it that she also had the same feelings or reservations about my grandmother as I have of her, yet the amazing thing about all this is that, with every generation, the imperfections get better.
One way or the other, i feel deep within that It is up to us as daughters to upgrade because we have the imperfection of our mothers (No matter who or what you have achieved as a mother or how much your daughters loves or hates you), it is our obligation to upgrade the imperfection a notch.
I am not saying you should change who you are, well the fact is you can’t, no matter how much you try anyway, but what I am trying to say is this, firstly we need to understand and accept we are our mothers' daughter (love it or hate it, it is the way it is) but if there is something about yourself you know you got from your mother, don’t like, upgrade it.
Okay let me explain it this way to you, let say your grandmother is a version 6.0, then your mother will be a version 6.1, you then work on being an upgrade version of 6.1 which is 6.2 - that is what makes it beautiful.
To all daughters, I would like to hear your opinion on this subject. Your thoughts, your comments, your stories or advice will go a long way. So why not leave a comment or two.
Yes, I am my mother’s daughter, I didn’t get to choose it but by God, I would make the best out of it. My mother may not be all that but she is everything to me and together we will walk out our imperfections - for I know who I am.
So I will be real and true to who I am…
MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER!!!
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